January 12th – I wrote my way out

This is quite possibly my favourite line from the whole of the Hamilton Musical. It resonates so deeply within me, and I almost feel like it’s some kind of message just to me. (Cheers Lin).

I need to write my way of this situation, out of every situation that I don’t like. Somehow – though I don’t quite know how –  I believe writing is the answer to my problems, mental, financial, social, all my problems. I know, and I firmly believe, I can write my way out of them all. But, what to write? I feel like the answer is there literally just round the corner, just out of sight. I think I’m also looking too hard for it now. Like I am desperate to find my muse, desperate to change my situation. I know willing it to appear won’t make it appear, I just hope when it does materialise, I see it for what it is.

I need to write more, about everything, so that’s what I’m doing today. Writing, listening to Hamilton and writing some more. The lyrics are speaking to me even more than normal, a legacy, I want to leave a legacy, planting flowers in a garden I’ll never get to see. I feel different today, like I have a purpose, more than just being a mother, there is something I need to do. Something I have to say. Something.

(Artwork from the Hamilton app)

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