Firstly for the first time this year I've actually typed January in the title. Every time before I've typed December, sometimes I don't notice for days after. Hopefully this is a sign I'm starting to realise its the new year! So nearly two weeks ago we went to Gordale Scar in Malham (Near Malham?). I've … Continue reading January 15th – Surprised
This is quite possibly my favourite line from the whole of the Hamilton Musical. It resonates so deeply within me, and I almost feel like it's some kind of message just to me. (Cheers Lin). I need to write my way of this situation, out of every situation that I don't like. Somehow - though … Continue reading January 12th – I wrote my way out
Today was one of those euphoric days. The great rush of happiness usually happens when I've hit absolute rock bottom and start to bounce back. I don't feel like I've hit rock bottom. Not even close. However this great rush of happiness is so welcome. It's all down to the kids. I was just in … Continue reading January 9th – Pure Joy
I can't remember the exact conversation with the boy, but it resulted in me saying that I wouldn't let him see how much I was suffering. When I said it I wanted him to be all "no always be yourself around me, if you're sad I want to know" etc etc. Which he was a … Continue reading January 8th – Act happy, be happy
Was it Green Day that sang that? I don't know, I think so though, who ever sang it, it's true. Today was always going to be my "New Years Day" - the first Monday of the year Delly starts nursery, it's a big fresh start day. I woke up feeling clearer, maybe because I didn't … Continue reading January 7th – First Day of the rest of your life.
I'm completely loosing my shit. Boy is making me turn my phone off for the night, he thinks it'll help. I think I'm not going to have anything to distract me from my thoughts and I don't know what that's going to do to me.
Oh dear lord. I am due on and every one and everything is pissing me off. I know I'm in a bad mood but I do feel like people are also going out of their way to be the biggest dickheads they can be. The house is a tip and it's really getting me down. … Continue reading January 5th – where is all the chocolate?
Somethings flipped again. I got this weird feeling that I couldn't shake and then I felt myself slipping. It was a good day too. Eldest kids are back at school and though I have actually missed the noisy little grotters slightly. It's been good to get a tiny bit of routine back. Delly fell asleep … Continue reading January 3rd – flipped
Yesterday went by in an absolute blur, desperate to the best person I could be, I felt I actually accomplished nothing. Though I did, I completed over 20 orders, managed a little walk and had a very relaxing shower. Planner, blog and kid wise, healthy eating, work - massive fail. I'm feeling shockingly overwhelmed by … Continue reading January 2nd – Chasing my tail
This year has been the best and worst of my life, and those emotions have been so intertwined with each other, I wouldn't even say it's been a rollercoaster, more that ride that shoots you into the air and then drops you just as quick. I think I've blamed myself for too much, even typing … Continue reading December 31st – a look back