Today was one of those euphoric days. The great rush of happiness usually happens when I've hit absolute rock bottom and start to bounce back. I don't feel like I've hit rock bottom. Not even close. However this great rush of happiness is so welcome. It's all down to the kids. I was just in … Continue reading January 9th – Pure Joy
I can't remember the exact conversation with the boy, but it resulted in me saying that I wouldn't let him see how much I was suffering. When I said it I wanted him to be all "no always be yourself around me, if you're sad I want to know" etc etc. Which he was a … Continue reading January 8th – Act happy, be happy
Was it Green Day that sang that? I don't know, I think so though, who ever sang it, it's true. Today was always going to be my "New Years Day" - the first Monday of the year Delly starts nursery, it's a big fresh start day. I woke up feeling clearer, maybe because I didn't … Continue reading January 7th – First Day of the rest of your life.
I'm completely loosing my shit. Boy is making me turn my phone off for the night, he thinks it'll help. I think I'm not going to have anything to distract me from my thoughts and I don't know what that's going to do to me.
Oh dear lord. I am due on and every one and everything is pissing me off. I know I'm in a bad mood but I do feel like people are also going out of their way to be the biggest dickheads they can be. The house is a tip and it's really getting me down. … Continue reading January 5th – where is all the chocolate?
I'm struggling to get out of bed. Somethings wrong with me but I don't know what. I just can't quite put my finger on it. I can't tell you how I feel because I'm not really feeling anything. I keep trying to make myself feel something, but its just not happening. I'm talking about things … Continue reading December 23rd – Meh
Last night (we'll tonight as I'm writing this at 8pm on Wednesday) was supposed to be date night. I told super romance, just the two of us, old school Xbox, blankets sofa, bliss. Let me tell you it's not bliss. It's been a shit day, hair cutting, chicken pox, the kids following me round untidying … Continue reading December 20th – Date night
I feel like I lost two days down some crazy dark rabbit hole. Friday night was shit. I mean, that is putting it mildly. It was past 11 when the boy got in. Hammered. After falling asleep on the bus and missing his stop, hanging up on me repeatedly, being an arrogant drunk twat. Not … Continue reading December 16th – Back to normal
I have literally sat on the sofa all day with Delta and it's been beautiful. I was good just to take some time out. We've literally sat and cuddled all day. She's fallen asleep on me. I'm pretty sure I've fallen asleep on here. She's pretended to be an elephant, I've been a zebra. We've … Continue reading December 14th – Little kick when your down
I messaged my ex today. Not with any ulterior motive. I just didn't have anyone else. He stopped working and talked to me for an hour, and it was such an intense subject yet the conversation wasn't intense. I felt better. I went on Facebook, I needed to block some people that aren't good for … Continue reading December 14th – it’s good to talk.